The Spirit(s) Of San Francisco

Now that New Year's Day has come and gone, and we are all proverbially dropping Alka-Seltzers in glasses of water, I thought this would be a good opportunity to share some of my favorite watering holes in San Francisco. Because bars and other sources of libations find their slowest month in January, I thought I would provide a community service and recommend some of my favorite watering holes.

I don't usually go to hotel bars, but there are two which deserve a shout-out.  Maxfield's in the Palace Hotel is named for Maxfield Parrish, who was an American painter and illustrator, and mostly known for the world-famous Pied Piper painting hanging over the bar.  In 2013 a short-sighted manager thought it was a good idea to sell the painting.  The public outcry was so vociferous that a social media campaign collected 1200 signatures in 48 hours.

The View From Chesty's, Atop The Marine's Memorial Hotel

The other hotel bar I recommend is Chesty's in the Marine's Memorial Hotel.  Even though it is only 14 floors above the street, it has an unobstructed view of San Francisco which stretches from Nob Hill and North Beach to Union Square and SOMA.  If you are unfamiliar with San Francisco and the aforementioned neighborhoods, well let's just say it's a great view.

After a long day exploring museums and gardens, The Little Shamrock on Lincoln Way is across from Golden Gate Park in the Inner Sunset neighborhood.  It has been in business for 134 years, and is the perfect place to take a break and have a drink.  The best part is that on cold days, which are frequent in the western part of San Francisco, you can warm your cockles by their fireplace.

The Riptide in the city's Outer Sunset neighborhood on Taraval Street has been voted best dive bar, but I don't know what metric they used to discern that.  Warning: I think they classed it up since I as last there.   Still a good bar.

Tommy's Joynt is one of those all-to-few pubs which serves a hearty meal at a reasonable price.  Open since the 1940s, the bar specializes in dozens of beers from around the world.   And I mean from Azerbaijan to Zambia.  Over the bar is a wooden sign with just the letters, I-I-T-Y-W-Y-B-A-D.  If you ask the bartender what that means, they will answer you it stands for If I Tell You Will You Buy a Drink.  Located at the intersection of two major streets, Van Ness Ave and Geary Blvd., it is easy to find.

Looking for the quintessential piano bar, the kind with the coasters and bar stools at the piano?  You know, the kind of place where the lounge singer puts his own five-dollar bill in the brandy snifter on top of his piano, to encourage patrons to do the same? There is only one place to go, Martuni's on Market and Valencia Streets, straddling the Civic Center and Castro neighborhoods.  This is the place opera and musical performers like to hang out when they have finished their gigs.

When the Castro District was still a working-class Irish neighborhood, the LGBT+ community (before it was even called that) was in the Tenderloin neighborhood, when the Castro became the gay Mecca, most of the TL gay bars closed down, but not Aunt Charlie's.  They even have an impressive drag show.  I don't mean the female impersonators who really look like women, but impressive in that those performing don't really spend much time on their ensembles.  If you like seeing fat guys with beards in Moo Moos, lip-syncing to Cher, then Aunt Charlie's should be your first stop.

With the Cliff House yet to reopen, the only place to have a drink and enjoy a view of the Pacific Ocean is the aptly named Beach Chalet in the old VFW (Veterans of Foreign Wars) building, on the western edge of Golden Gate Park.  Built in 1925 by the great San Francisco architect Willis Polk, it was originally used as a lounge but was appropriated by the US Army during WWII, and after that became the VFW until 1979.  Today it is part of the National Register of Historic Places and is crowned on the top floor by the Beach Chalet, which is not only an upscale restaurant, but produces its own variety of San Francisco-themed beers right there on the premisses.

If you want to get a feel for San Francisco's maritime past, there is no better spot than Specs in the heart of North Beach.  Part bar and part waterfront museum, Spec's gives you a sense of the neighborhood's stevedore and Beatnik past.  Their patrons are some of the most loyal I've ever seen.  If you go to the bar, you will find little boxes filled with postcards from around the world.  From all corners of the globe, Spec's customers send greetings from whatever country they are in, and then collected at the bar for all to read.

Then there is The Owl Tree, the little owl-themed bar two blocks from Union Square.  It's a pleasant enough watering hole, but I reference it as the only bar I've ever been thrown out of.  Remind me to tell you that story sometime.

Finally, the Royal Cuckoo, where Valencia Street meets Mission Street on the edge of the Mission District.  This best-kept-secret is probably my favorite bar in the city, and why I'm mentioning it last.  The lighting is dark and intimate.  The music, strictly vinyl.  There is no TV, no neon beer signs, no Jukebox, and nice outdoor area.  The best feature; four nights a week, a pianist comes in and plays classic tunes on a Hammond organ.