Thursday's Enough with the "Concierge" Stuff!

Anyone who knows me is often fatigued at how bullish I am about my life as a concierge.  This honorable and noble profession is one I fell into from an entirely different career in the film business.  But one I embraced once I committed to it.  Check out my homage to the concierge in the article titled, Shout-Out to the Concierge on www.SFHotelStories.com.

A profession, by the way,  which has been portrayed on film by everyone from Ralph Fiennes to Michael J. Fox. Sadly, a profession which has seen its importance and cultural influence whittled away by the trifecta of the internet, Covid, and just plain greed.  Countless marriages have been salvaged thanks to the concierge strategic, face-saving, recommendations. Scores of business relationships were cemented thanks to a well-placed suggestion from the concierge.

A profession which has been around since the Middle Ages and which kings, dictators, and Hollywood movie producers all have been dependent at one time.

During the Middle Ages, when a royal household would host visiting nobility, there was one man in the castle or palace in charge of all the keys.  When the noble guests or royal hosts required something they called upon their concierge, since he knew which key opened what room, and thus was able to accommodate their needs.  

The first time I heard the word was in the 1968 Mel Brooks film, The Producers.  In a small scene, Zero Mostel and Gene Wilder visit the Hitler-enamored playwright played by Kenneth Mars.  When they approach the apartment building he lives in, they encounter a little old lady on the first floor who refers to herself as the con-see-airg.

Just last month, the MGM Grand properties in Las Vegas laid off 30 concierge. Not because their services were underutilized by the hotel guests, but because corporate boardrooms falsely believe the internet alone would adequately supplement that service.

Don't get me wrong, for those behind the desk, the internet basically streamlined what the concierge does every day.  Because the concierge was the internet, before the internet.

Like an ancient Roman mosaic slowing loosing its tiles, the image and concept of a concierge has been chipped away at to the point even I am shocked at how it has been slowly culturally appropriated.

An Actural listing for "Burger Concierge!"

When companies started incorporating "concierge services" into their business plan the idea was to make them classier, but what happened is that too many businesses have just slapped the name in front of whatever they want to make more cool.

I knew a former marine who was annoyed that anyone could walk into a tattoo shop and get the same moniker as those who earned it in the filed of battle.  I am in now way comparing the challenges a concierge has those who have served, but I can certainly relate.

Yes, This One is For Real.

In the old analog days, I used to collect a library of actual, physical, menus that restaurants shared with me to better extol the virtues of their cuisine.  Now I can just go onto their website for menus and more!  And that's a good thing for both the concierge and the hotel guest.  But a website won't necessarily tell you which tables are by the kitchen entrance, or if a cheap seat at a theater goes beyond nose-bleed territory, to thin-air seats.

When Cirque Du Soleil sets up their tent in San Francisco for their latest extravaganza, some of the seats have a disclaimer of "partially obscured" due to a tent post.  The Internet won't tell you just how obscured it is, but your concierge can, if you are lucky enough to have one.  And I don’t mean your burger concierge.

Found in a Dallas Airport Restroom. OK, That is a Bridge Too Far!

Alas, can we take a moment and recognize that a real concierge is not just a machine that dispenses diapers in an airport, but an integral part of a hotel who has extensive knowledge and experience that you won’t find online.

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